I had a dream last night that has thrown my whole future plans into total manic mayhem. There I was minding my own business when I was invited to my friends house for dinner, I sit next to this girl who chats away to me about how excited she is about life etc and I smile and realise that after ten years I'm really not happy. I ask what she does and she says she works for the Harry Potter film at that moment my jaw drops, total hatred towards her (lol, only joking) and she sees the look on my face of complete and utter horror and laughs. Before I reply that she has the best job in the world, she smiles and passes me a card with her mobile number on it. The next thing I knew, I'm standing in an office with a nice folder, shaking like a leaf and staring at my C.V and as I walk through the door, I'm almost in tears because I'm sooooo scared and then the girls there again and she smiles happily and introduces me to David Heyman, I swear I thought I was going to be sick! (hahaha). We have a little chat and he tells me to wait outside. He then sends the girl out, her names Cassie, I find out and she grins, laughs and hugs me as she tells me that they are extremely please with me and are offering me a job. I burst into tears, like a wet weekend in Bognor and the next thing I know I'm standing in a freezing cold studio holding a clipboard and watching half the cast appear on set right in front of my eyes and then nick woke me up!

It felt sooooo real, all the feelings all the emotions. It was like it was actually happening to me but now I am sadly depressed and wishing that for the sake of my own sanity that Becky should call me to such event so I might happen to meet some attractive assistant called Cassie who just happens to see something in me that know once else can! The end of this hugely long moan is that even though I thought I was happy (yet again) giving up on the whole film career, well really I'm not and if anything not getting it could make me an extremely miserable and recentful 35 year old! I can see my head stone now!

'Here lies Gemma Cantan, devoteful wife, mother and grandmother! If only she'd got the guts to get off her arse and make herself happy, maybe she would not have died hanging a picture on the wall of her stairs'

That's actually quite poetic! lol. God I have gone on a bit haven't I! hahahaha. But then you know me, I don't keep anything simple...thats just not how I work!