Graduation Part One...

I've completed my first step on the road to getting my degree and on the 25th June, 2015 along with my class mates I will graduate from my foundation degree. It's taught me so much about myself and the person I used to be. For anyone scared or unsure of returning to education...just take that leap and go for it, it's not something to regret. I wish I'd done it ten years ago before kids, before I relied on needing a full time job. With my youngest son about to start school I feel that I will be very prepared for returning to full time work upon graduation next year.

That all important graduation outfit is upon me. I have purchased a navy blue dress, not too low cut and very formal but its the shoes, the hair, the make-up! I'd wear heels but uneven floors, grassy areas means that it's either wedges or flats and I'm too short for flats.

This is a similar look to what I am going for. I wanted a cream pair of shoes but I've been advised to go 'silver' or black and not nude. I kind of think it works together. I never look sophiscated its not who I am. I'm not exactly a yummy mummy at the moment, but things are going to change.

6 months on...

It's been nearly six months since I took one giant leap back into education and I bloody well love it! Well the studying part at least but I'm not about to go there. I've learnt so much in just a short space of time and things i'd never though about before. I already know that I am doing my 3rd year and as desperate as I am to get back into the big wide world of work, I kind of need this . I'm still at the hotel, never really planned to stay more than a year but once you get comfortable and its reliable work (most of the time). I have however taken on a wedding venue position just to help out at weddings and get more experience for my c.v and looking at work experience for the summer holidays. Just wish I was a bit more organised with life in general. I probably wouldn't get so stressed out but I like to keep busy it stops me from thinking. I'm aiming for a 2:1 in my degree which is attainable but can't say I'm not pushing for a 1st.

University is in my sight!

No more excuses! My university application was completed and sent off in January and I applied for the following courses: 1. University of Winchester - Event Management and Media Studies (Offer - 100 ucas points) 2. University of Chichester - Event Management 3. Chichester College - Event and Hospitality Management (Offer - Interview) 4. Farnborough Tech - Event Management 5. Southampton Solent University (Offer - 240 ucas points) To get an offer from my top choice made my week and getting B although a challenge isn't impossible if I revise my arse off for the next few months. I'm retaking my AS level and taking my A2 in June as missed the January 2013 exams. Still need to finish my hospitality course which hopefully will help somewhere although Winchester weren't bothered about it. But things are finally moving, I've even applied for my student loan so everything is covered. It's actually a really exciting time although opening my a level results in August will be almost unbearable. 7 months time seems like a long time away but I'm hoping it will come before I know it. I just want to know...

Working on personal statement...

My original ucas personal statement wasn't actually that bad. Needs a bit of improvement here and there but the whole point is there. Will be working in it tomorrow. Hoping to get it finished this week!

Things have moved on but not yet up!

After three and a half years I made the decision to leave Testo. It wasn't easy, I'd been debating it and stressing myself out for months. I started working at the Ramada Farnham hotel back in October 2011 as a way of making some extra money to help with our growing bills and over time was working 60 hours a week. I was never seeing my kids and poor Nick probably forgot what I looked like so I made the decision that despite loving my colleagues I just wasn't fussed about the job. I felt like Thomas was being put in nursery so I could work and it didn't make sense and I had to cancel two of his appointments because of work and that's when I realised that he should be my priority. I left at the end of July and we're all alot happier. I stayed at the hotel but its not exactly turning out how I hoped. Everyone is moving on and while I know my plans for the next year, 12 months sounds like an eternity next to them. My study so far: GCSE English Language retake - A* A Level Sociology - AS taken and graded U so retaking in January A2 to be sat in June 2013. BTEC Hospitality Level 3 - Pass or fail to be confirmed May 2013. Decided against retaking my GCSE Maths, I retook it once and got a D so don't see much point of taking it again. Hoping university will let me in without it if not will obviously have to think again. Plans for next 12 months and beyond. Work hard, pay off my debt and put some money towards are next house. Have a little but only about £5k need about £20k. Hoping to get some work experience in and looking to start university (finally I hear you say). I have three choices. 1. University of Winchester - Event management with Media studies 2. University of Chichester - Event Management with marketing 3. Chichester College - Event and hospitality management (foundation degree) Obviously continuing on to University of Chichester for full degree. I want a 1st too. I don't do things by halves. I want to prove that mothers can do these things. For the last year I've been working full time hours, studying three courses and looking after my children if thats not hard work I don't know what is! Getting my A* in English though made me realise what I'm capable of because I nearly actually cried. To be told that I was unlikely to be graded higher than a C and then get an A* was totally out of this world! I know I don't have to go to university for a career in events, but I want one. I've always wanted one I just never had the confidence or even knew whether I whole heartedly wanted to study media but over the last 10 years especially I've come to realise that I just don't want to work in event management, I want to have an amazing career and a family. Cos I do want both and I know its possible, whether that be when my children are 18 or 8, it will happen.

Got my first sociology assignment graded and got 90%!!! Yes I got 50 marks out of 60! I was totally blown away considering it was my first assignment! Now moving on to the next assignment which I want to be equally as good! Go me! hehehe

Marketing Administrator to Customer Service Administrator overnight!!!

Having really no choice but to return to work due to yet more financial hardship its probably not surprising that I have been shafted by yet another company. Overnight I lost the best job I've ever had and had to resign yet again to Customer Services. I'm not sure where I go wrong to be honest, I'm a hard working honest person but yet the moment things are in my grasp they seem to slip away. I don't ask for much but it appears currently I'm not able to have everything, I can't have a career and have a family. It appeared that the decision was made for me that if I wanted to continue helping to support my family that I would have to sacrifice my perfect job for it. But I'm slightly confused other women have been able to hold their jobs. Caroline came back after a year and although she had to change roles she was still able to work part time and if anything she cut her hours down and if you ask me she is doing a role that should actually be full time.

I guess I can understand Alison's reasons for declining me returning part time but it wasn't even discussed in my persistence. I still believe that I could support the department the way I did but over a shorter time but its like they couldn't even consider it and all I'm told is that its extremely busy in the department. I can't keep moaning about it but at the moment my job satisfaction is about -10.

My new role is simple, logical and apart from the odd moaner pretty easy to deal with. I'm glad I'm not dealing with incoming calls, not my cup of tea at all but I can see myself getting stuck with inbound calls as well eventually. Its hard a decision, I feel exactly like I knew I would. I haven't moved forward in my career, if anything I've moved backwards. I guess at present I just feel a little disheartened and like I've let myself down. It sounds stupid as obviously my children have to come first, especially while they are sooooo young but should I be feeling like I'm being punished.

It was hard seeing Nikki (the new marketing administrator) sitting in my place, doing my job but I've come to accept that its the way things have to be. I guess over time things will happen. It made me realise that I need to take charge of my future and need to start working towards my degree. I've started my GCSE English and I'm still studying for my A Level in Sociology. I'm looking into Access courses but I'm not sure if I'm doing it this year or next year. It depends on how I feel about work come September time!

I guess for the time being I have to lump as the saying goes but it doesn't mean I have to like it! If it wasn't for the location, the flexibility and the people I work with I wouldn't have returned at all!